If you haven’t read all the way down, I am the lucky mother of five children. Yes, you read that right. F-I-V-E! Two of my five are high functioning Autistic, my 11 and 6 year old kiddos. I expected to get shit from both of those kiddos because I divorced their dad.
Quite the contrary. My 6 year old would ask periodically if I was going to marry his dad again, and when I replied no he would ask if I would marry him. 🙂 That’s now changed to him asking my boyfriend when he’s going to marry me 😂
My 11 year old asked questions early on in the divorce that I expected to be asked; after all he was 10. He was really quiet after the divorce was done, would ask periodically if I was going to marry his dad again. He would tell me early on after the divorce, that he wished his dad and I could get back together. I made sure that I told all of my kids, that they were not the reason why their dad and I divorced and we wouldn’t be getting back together.
They met my boyfriend shortly before Christmas. My love and I have been slowly getting the kids adjusted to him and vice versa since the beginning of February. My kiddos all like him, they all approve of him, but I have had some regression from my 11 year old regarding questions again. Until last night…
He had been pretty vocal about being unhappy that I wasn’t taking his dad back. I still kept spinning it that even though we were not good married, we both loved him and his four other siblings very much. I also explained that if my boyfriend and I were to get married, nothing would change with his access to his father. That he would still be apart of their lives. My boyfriend wouldn’t be replacing their dad, but would be a good friend to them and mom’s husband IF he and I were to ever get married (no proposal yet).
Last night at the dinner table, it was just me and the kids. My boyfriend is moving into an apartment closer to us temporarily until he builds a house. Last night he was moving some boxes before he came over to hang out, so he missed dinner. My kids and I were talking about their day, when out of the blue my 11 year old said he was done with his dad.
My older kids and I just sat there, mouths gaping open and not sure what to say. I asked my 11 year old to elaborate. What exactly had his father done that had him mad? I was half expecting him to become tight lipped but instead he opened up, in front of everyone. He stated that he was not happy that his dad was marrying Mariam, tired of his dad not being around much/being engaged, just done trying with him.
After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I told him that he needs to be happy that his father has found someone he loves and that loves him back. Explained that his dad loves him even if he doesn’t engage much and that’s when he said he didn’t want to go with him on dad weekends; he wants to stay with me and my love.
So I asked him if he would be upset with me if my love asked me to marry him and I said yes. He replied with no 😮 I didn’t know how to react. I was shell shocked. An 11 year old child rocked me to my core.
I changed the subject to shower time and went about our normal nighttime routine. This morning he mentioned again about not wanting to stay with his dad this weekend. 😕 I don’t even know what I’m going to do…